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mysterious pets

April 11, 2011

In the pet store the other day, I came upon something truly shocking.


dear small rodent: your fanciness disappoints and enrages me.

I am dubious. First, at 6″-8″, this is clearly a normal-size rat, and everyone knows that fancy pets are tiny.

Second, “docile”? “easily tamed”? “5 and up”? Everyone knows that fancy pets will probably kill you, and maybe eat you.

Luckily, I’m here to fix all your terrible animals. Presenting: The World’s Fanciest Rat.


don't make eye contact!

Don't underestimate him. His monocle doubles as a throwing star.

I was relieved, however, to see at least one rodent that required no fancifying.

don't look directly at this one, either.
GPS? Rocket boosters? Laser eyes? Yes, yes, and YES.

You get what you pay for, you know?

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